Heat Haze
by Two-Faced Procrastinator
Summary: Because no matter what I did, you still smiled, and you still said you loved me. How many times have I hurt you? Not again. I think it's time for my turn now. 1827. Inspired by the vocaloid song KAGEROU DAYS. *WARNING: it is very long & may be confusing.*


inspired by **Heat Haze Days**.

it's truly a heartbreaking song, and has a lot of vague sense in it.

when i first heard it, i didn't get it.

but after a couple times and watching the PV, i realized just what those two star-crossed lovers went through for each other.

that made me think for a while.

i thought,

_"Hey,_

_isn't_

_this_

_what_

_people_

_call_

_**love?**"_

* * *

><p><strong>Heat Haze<strong>

_Because no matter what I did, you still smiled, and you still said you loved me._

_How many times have I hurt you?_

_Not again._

_I think it's time for my turn now._

* * *

><p>.<p>

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.

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.

.

.

.

.

.

As I gazed

_blankly_

at your hospitalized form,

your chest

**rises**

_and falls_

with every

_artificial_

**breath you take.**

The IV drip

attached to your arm,

_I want to_

**rip it out.**

Surely

**_the pain_**

_will wake you_

and you'll see me

_waiting_

at the foot

**of your bed.**

Hey,

didn't you ever

_doubt_

**my love for you?**

Didn't you ever

_wonder_

about our...

**...relationship?**

_I_

**_pushed_**

**you away,**

_I_

**crushed**

_your flowers_

_**under my foot,**_

_I_

**rejected**

_your kindness_

**_and gentle warmth._**

_I_

**never**

once said,

_"I love you."_

Doesn't

that

_bother_

_you...?_

Doesn't

that

_hurt_

**you...?**

So why,

**why,**

do you still

_tell me_

_you_

**_love me?_**

Just

_what_

have

_I_

**done**

to

_deserve_

someone

as

_good_

as

_**you?**_

Things

_like this_

**always happen.**

_The moment_

_you pushed me_

out of

_the way,_

as I saw

that

_red light_

**glare**

through

the summer sun

**heat haze**

_I've always_

_kind of_

**_hated_**

and the

truck

that was

_meant for me_

**_hit you_**

and

**it felt like**

_the world_

_**stopped.**_

_Your body_

**_flew._**

All I saw

was

_red,_

_red,_

_**red.**_

I still had

_your blood_

on

_my jacket_

and

_my shoes._

_Hey,_

_y'know,_

**the color**

_matched_

my

Disciplinary Committee

armband

the moment

it

**splattered**

on

_me._

_Surely now,_

that incident

_will open your eyes_

**clearly**

_and make you see_

**just what**

kind of

_despicable_

_hated_

_**disgusting**_

person

_I am._

But hey,

_hey,_

**_I do,_**

_y'know?_

I really do

_love you._

I just,

**just...**

can't

_can't_

**can't**

say it.

I'm

_sorry._

I'm

_so_

_so_

**_sorry._**

As I reach for that

**transparent**

_line_

_**attached**_

_to your arm,_

_you open_

_**your eyes.**_

_Your eyes,_

_such a warm,_

_beautiful_

_kind_

_gentle_

**_brown._**

They

kinda

_remind me_

of

that

_bittersweet_

_chocolate_

you

_made me_

for

this year's

_**Valentine's.**_

Although,

I told you

_cruelly_

that I

_threw it away,_

calling it

**disgusting.**

_But,_

_y'know..._

I actually,

**kept it**

_and ate it._

_Hey,_

_y'know?_

It was

_**really good.**_

_Really..._

_really,_

_really..._

_**good.**_

_You knew_

that

I

_didn't like_

_**sweets.**_

So

you

made it

_a little_

_a tad bit_

_**bitter,**_

didn't

you?

_Hey..._

_y'know?_

It was

**perfect.**

Your

_fluffy_

_soft_

_coffee brown_

**_hair_**

is all

over the place.

I can't help

but

**smile**

at that.

You

_were always_

_always_

**_so cute._**

I was

_afraid_

that the others

would

**take you away.**

So I,

was always

making sure

I was

_one_

_or two_

**steps**

ahead

of you,

so that

you would always

_try_

_and follow_

after

**my footprints.**

_My footprints,_

that you cutely

_try_

to fit yours in,

_when it snowed_

and then

_pout_

that mine

_were bigger than yours._

Of course,

_I'll always be the taller one._

If you grow,

then I'll put

**a big**

**effort**

into getting

**taller**

because

I've always

_liked_

how you would

**look up at me**

with those

_large_

_cute_

_adorable_

_adoring_

_admiring_

_**eyes**_

of yours.

Those

_eyes_

that

are

_staring_

at

**me.**

"What is it?"

I ask

in a

**hardly**

_audible_

**voice.**

_You smile_

under that annoying

oxygen mask

and

_your eyes_

_start_

_**to water.**_

"Hibari-san,"

you breathe

and I can hear

_the disbelief_

and

_utter happiness_

in that

_weak_

_strong_

_kind_

_loving_

**voice of yours.**

I can't

_say anything_

because

_I'm_

_starting_

_to_

_cry_

_too._

So,

**instead,**

I

reach over,

and

**hold your hand.**

_I can't_

_take it anymore_

and

I lay my head down

on

your sick bed.

_**I begin to cry.**_

_Your tiny_

_enveloping_

_hand_

_squeezes_

**_mine._**

My shoulders

**shake**

as

_I sob_

**and cry**

and I

wet

your blanket

_with my_

**salty**

**tears.**

_Hey,_

_y'know..._

I'm a little

_embarrassed now,_

because

_you once_

_told me_

_that my shoulders_

_and back_

**_looked strong_**

_**and proud.**_

_Hey,_

_y'know,_

that

made me

_really,_

_really,_

_really..._

**_happy._**

I was

_glad_

that I had

someone

**_like you_**

by

_**my side.**_

This

_feeling_

that

**is uncontrollably**

_boiling_

_churning_

_writhing_

inside me,

**burning**

_**my heart...**_

_Perhaps,_

is this

what

**you feel**

_or felt_

**_for me?_**

I lift

my face

off

your bed

and

**stood.**

"Tsunayoshi,"

_I whisper_

leaning

down

**close.**

_Your eyes_

_look confused._

Of course

you would

be.

I've

_never_

done this

on

**my own**

accord.

But,

_after almost_

_nearly_

_losing_

**you,**

I

will

do

**anything**

_for you._

_Anything_

**_everything_**

to make

you

_happy_

_feel loved_

_smile_

_laugh_

_cry in joy_

and

_**love me.**_

I know

_it's selfish_

**greedy**

_sinful._

_But,_

_y'know?_

I

_really do_

_**love you.**_

I gently

_grasp_

the mask

_on your face_

**and pull it off.**

You're

_surprised_

_startled_

_shocked_

_alarmed_

_**panicked.**_

But

**that's okay.**

That side of you

**is also**

**very**

**_cute_**

_y'know?_

I look

into

_your_

_brown_

_**eyes**_

and

_slowly_

_**slowly**_

**lean down.**

As

_I'm kissing you_

**_I hope_**

**my feelings**

**reached through**

because I know

I don't

_wear my heart_

_on my sleeve_

like you do

and

_I can't_

**say words**

to

_describe_

things

_like love_

_sadness_

_**or anger.**_

I pull back

**and smile**

_freely_

at your

_astonished_

_pleased_

_pleasant_

_happy_

_joyful_

_red_

_**face.**_

I lean down

_again_

_and whisper_

into your ear,

_**"I love you."**_


End file.
